


I'm yours to keep and I'm yours to lose

by 1000lux



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Episode Related, Fix-It, Getting Back Together, M/M, Post-Break Up, Trust Issues, post s10e08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22104094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1000lux/pseuds/1000lux
Summary: My take on how things could continue after episode 8.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 8
Kudos: 77





	I'm yours to keep and I'm yours to lose

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own rights to either the show or its characters
> 
> So, I didn't think this would be the first Shameless story I'd ever write, but I needed to get it out, after watching the current episode.
> 
> Title is from Taylor Swift's 'So it goes'.

"Can you fucking listen to me for a second?!" Ian asked angrily, trying to keep up with Mickey on his crutches.

"No, I fucking can't!" Mickey exclaimed, as he kept walking.

"Why is it such a big deal? It's not like I wanted to break up! I love you!"

Mickey stopped in track and whipped around, coming face to face with Ian. "Because I can't fucking trust you, Gallagher. And everytime I try, it comes to bite me in the ass. You're letting me down. Every single time." His finger stabbed into Ian's chest, his eyes misting up. "I go all in, I put everything on the line and you fucking check out and realise last minute it's not what you want." His voice cracked. "I'm not what you want."

"That's not at all–"

"It's Mexico all over again. Or like that time you could barely be bothered to feign interest while visiting me in prison. Svetlana had to fucking pay you and you couldn't even lie convincingly." Mickey sniffled, rubbing his eyes aggressively. He swallowed harshly, eyes hard and angry. "I'm done with you being done with me." With that he turned around and walked off. Ian standing there frozen in place, reeling, unable to come up with any words to fix this.

*

"What the fuck do you want?" Terry asked hostilely, blocking the doorway, arms crossed.

"I want to talk to Mickey." Ian said.

"Well, yah fucking can't."

"Please. It's important." Ian tried to push past Terry.

Terry pushed him back, nearly sending him on his ass. "My son do that?" he asked gleefully, looking at Ian's broken leg.

"Yeah, he did." Ian replied, then shouting into the house. "Mickey! Mickey, are you there?"

"He doesn't want to talk to you." Sandy said in passing, glowering at him.

"You heard her." Terry said. "Now fuck off."

*

Mickey and his brothers left the house, guns in hand, putting ski masks on.

"Jesus, are you going to rob someone?!" Ian exclaimed. "You're on parole!"

Mickey looked at where Ian was precariously perched on some junk lying in the yard. "What the fuck, are you camped out here?"

"Sorta." Ian admitted.

"Get your stupid ass back home, Gallagher, before you freeze it off."

"Not until you talk to me."

Mickey's face shut down. "Because you make the fucking rules, right?" He got into the van with his brothers. "Go catch pneumonia, see if I care." The van door slammed shut.

*

Ian answered the phone.

"What you do now, carrot boy?"

"Svetlana... Hey."

"I ask you question."

"Look, I don't really want to talk about it..."

"You don't want to talk?" she asked sarcastically. "Neither do I. But he call me, he's drunk, he's crying, and now we talk."

"He was crying?" Ian whispered, horrified.

Svetlana clicked her tongue in contempt. "Ah, all men cry. Always blubbering babies when emotional. So what did you do? V tells me you're back together, now this!"

"Didn't Mickey tell you?"

"Ah," she said dismissively. "Very drunk, very upset, very little sense."

"It's complicated." He sighed.

"What's complicated? You love him, no? He wants wedding, you give him wedding."

"I thought he didn't tell you?"

"Just wanted to know if you are coward additionally to bastard."

"I didn't mean for it to come across so wrong... I didn't think it would be such a big deal. I don't know what to do, he won't talk to me."

"You hurt him. You fix this."

"I know. I will."

*

Terry walked into the kitchen, taking the milk from the fridge and drinking it straight from the carton.

"Your red head hasn't been around lately." he commented.

"He hasn't?" Mickey mumbled from his breakfast without looking up. "Didn't notice." Of course he'd noticed.

The doorbell rang.

"Well, aren't you going to get it?" Terry asked.

"You fucking get it." Mickey replied, when Terry didn't move and the ringing continued, he got up with a muttered, "Jesus Christ."

"Is he with you?" a distraught Lip asked, when Mickey opened the door.

"Why the fuck would he be?" Mickey snarled, only to follow up with, "What the fuck happened?" 

"He had a psychotic break this morning. He ran off. We can't find him."

"Shit."

*

Mickey spend all day looking everywhere he could think of. Then he had a horrible thought. He got in his car.

Ian's standing there, drinking tequila straight from the bottle. He smiled at Mickey widely, as he saw him. "You came! I tried to call you, but I think I lost my phone."

"Mexico, Gallagher, really?"

"Now we can go over together." Ian was still smiling at him. "We can be together. Everything will be okay again."

Mickey sighed in exasperation. "Except we're both on parole and not allowed to leave the state, let alone the country."

"Didn't stop you last time."

"Come on." Mickey said gently. "Get in the car."

"So we're going?" Ian asked, happily bounding up to him.

Mickey hugged him for a moment. "No, we can't. I'm taking you home, okay? It's going to be fun. Like last time."

"But why?"

"Because in Mexico the cartels want to kill me."

"Oh. Yeah, right."

Ian got into the car and Mickey let out a sigh.

"But you still love me, right?" Ian asked, as he'd just sat down in the car.

"Yeah, I still love you."

"Okay." Ian smiled.

"Fasten your seat belt."

*

"Thank you so much." Lip said to Mickey quietly, after they'd put Ian to bed.

"That's okay." Mickey replied wearily. "Just make sure someone's looking after him, okay? Cause I'm not driving to the Mexican border again."

*

Mickey came to visit Ian, a couple days later. For no real reason other than he's a hopeless fool.

Ian's lying in bed, nearly vanishing under the covers, and wasn't that stirring up memories he could have done without.

"Hey." Ian greeted blearily.

"Hey." Mickey said, standing in the room awkward and out of place.

"Thanks for coming to get me."

"Yeah. That doesn't mean we're back together."

"I know." Ian replied softly, looking even more dejected. 

"I should go." Mickey said.

"I love you."

I love you too, Mickey thought. What he said was, "Get better, Gallagher." With that he turned around and left.

*

"Hey."

"Been a long time, stranger." Mandy replied on the other end of the line, a smile in her voice.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm good, how are you?"

"I might have fucked up things with Mickey..."

"I find it hard to believe that."

"No, for real. I didn't... I didn't realise... He doesn't trust me anymore."

"Does he still love you?" she asked gently.

"... I think so, yeah."

"Then you can fix this."

*

He didn't get a chance, though, not really. And so he found himself standing in front of the Milkovich house, once more.

"The cartel's got Mickey. We need to get him back."

For a moment Terry just stared at him, then he turned around, shouting into the house, "Boys, get the guns, we're going out!"

And Ian's driving to the Mexican border once more, only this time in the back of a van together with more Milkovichs than he thought could fit into the house.

*

All around them there's smoke, mostly coming from the still burning, overturned vehicles (courtesy of cousin Billy's bazooka).

"What the fuck was that?!" Mickey asked, rubbing his wrists that until a couple minutes ago had been tied with zip ties.

"I guess all that military training finally paid off." Ian said, slightly shaken. "And I know," he added, kissing the top of Mickey's head. "That doesn't mean we're back together."

"It doesn't?!" Terry exclaimed from the side. "What the fuck does then? Fucking queers, I don't get them." he said to Joey and Iggy, shaking his head. "Back in my day, saving someone from the cartels would sure as fuck mean you're back together."

*

"Hey uhm..." Ian was waiting once more in front of Mickey's house when the other came out. "I would totally marry you now, you know. I didn't know it was that important to you."

"I don't want you to fucking marry me because you think you have to." Mickey replied gruffly. "You shouldn't have brought it up if you didn't want to."

"I told you, it was marriage I wasn't sure about, not you."

"That's not what it felt like."

"I'm sorry, Mickey. I'm sorry for making you feel that way. Ever. I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I– I want a chance to prove to you that you can trust me. That I'm in this for you as much as you are for me."

"I'm not marrying you." Mickey uttered warily.

Ian smiled softly. "Okay. No wedding. For now."

"For now?" An amused snort broke Mickey's gruff demeanor. "Getting a bit ahead of yourself."

"I have long term plans." Ian replied, smile broadening.

"You better have." Mickey said, taking the few steps towards Ian and pulling his head down for a kiss.


End file.
